Llew's Reviews

It has taken me hours to get this post due to Blogger having problems. Obviously, they knew this book contained HOT GIRL ON GIRL action and bookstore masturbation. Yes, you heard me on the latter. At first I laughed, but on the inside oh how I was crying.

The worst thing about this book is reading it in public. Everyone sees the front of the cover and starts telling me about their Japanese tatoos. Even my DOCTOR joined in on the fun by describing his son’s tattoo which he had done on his lower back so only those he showed it to could see it. Only it’s just a wee bit too high so EVERYONE sees it, and don’t mind me and these hives I’ve had for a year, Doc, because I JUST love hearing about your boys scarification stories.

The first half of this book is pretty dry as it’s all about reincarnation and the different facets of it. However, the second half perks the whole book up with the obsessive thoughts of the narrator. It’s just that classic age old story of falling for a Thai princess who is really the second reincarnation of their childhood best friend… With some lesbian and bookstore masturbation thrown in, that is.

A real heartwarmer to be sure.

How novel: a novel within a novel! The concept reminded me of Blind Assassin. Margaret Atwood could TOTALLY be the new Yukio Mishima. I mean if you just overlook the fact that he wasn’t a lesbian, that his story is political instead of shady sci-fi, and that there’s no hot girls on the cover of his books. Otherwise the two are COMPLETELY twins.

The novel within the novel of Runaway Horses is actually more of a very long pamphlet. A very long boring pamphlet that inspires the young man in the book (who is the reincarnated form of the main character of the first volume of the series) to gather a group of his compatriots together with the goal of killing the most evil men of their society and government off. The plan is thwarted when the leader’s father rats him out. Those Japanese patriarchs – always harshing everyone else’s mellow.

Honda, the best friend of the first book’s main character, quits his job as a judge and becomes a lawyer in order to defend the youth. Becoming a lawyer for someone – now that’s devotion! He ends up getting the youth off only for him to murder someone and then commit suicide. Oh the drama!

Stay tuned for next book when the youth is reincarnated into a princess!

January was my month of popular mainstream books which I would be able to handsell to customers and February is my quiet personal desire to read The Sea of Fertility tetralogy. The first two are the longest, but the second two are much more reasonable in length for this little project so hopefully I will be able to get them all read this month.

All I have to say about the first book is that it sure would have been helpful if all the boys of my failed romantic encounters would have caught a fever and died as soon as it was over. What an easy clean up and none of that awkward “let’s try to be friends now” transition!

Shortly after “Running With Scissors” came out in paperback, I met Augusten Burroughs at the national booksellers’ convention where he was incredibly rude. He wore a trucker’s hat. Since he was neither slim nor otherwise hip looking it just made him look like a redneck. I wanted to throw his book back in face while shouting, “The only reason you’ve been compared to David Sedaris is that you’re GAY not because you’re FUNNY!” Howver, I restrained myself. Not because I have any decorum, but even I don’t muck around with free books.

Several years later, at another booksellers’convention, I noticed a paperback copy of “Dry” sitting on a table at one of the booths. I had just read an advanced reader’s copy of his latest, “Magical Thinking” which I enjoyed. Thus, I had Dry on order but it hadn’t come in to the store yet. There I am flipping through the copy of Dry wondering if there was any way that I could sweet talk the publisher lackey there into giving me the copy of it when this pretentious looking girl in her young twenties shuffled up beside me. She sniffed and barked, “That’s a really good book. You should read it. It’s really good.” Geez, maybe I should take some handselling tips from her. The bookshop world would be blown away by such eloquence and persuasive power.

Is this how it’s going to be? I’m going to end up spluttering on about why I read the book or it’s design (I know it’s “in” to love Chip Kidd but the paperback edition of this title just makes me tingle it’s so wonderful). Will I ever even get around to the content of the book? It’s about Burroughs quitting drinking. There? Is that enough? No?

In Dry, Mr Burroughs mentions this waiter at the Time Cafe who had a coke addiction who he had a brief love affair with. If Brian, who I know who has read this book, hasn’t sifted through all the clues to narrow down who it was then all my faith in his stalking abilities will be shattered. How is that for incorporating books into my life in a real and meaningful way?

“The reading of Dawn is a strain upon many parts, but the worst wear and tear fall on the forearms. After holding the massive volume for the half-day necessary to its perusal (well, look at that, would you? “massive volume” and “perusal,” one right after the other! You see how contagious Mr. D’s manner is?), my arms ached with a slow, mean persistence beyond the services of aspirin or of liniment. I must file this distress, I suppose under the head of ‘Occupational Diseases….” Dorothy Parker’s Review of Theodore Dreiser’s Dawn

My favorite Theodore Dreiser novel (which as the Parker quote would indicate that isn’t saying much) is An American Tragedy which is based on the true story of Grace Brown who was found dead in Big Moose Lake in the Adirondack Mountains in 1906. The boat she had been in with her companion, who rented the boat under the name of Carl Graham, had capsized. It was thought that Graham had also drowned until they searched the rooms of the hotel they were staying at and found letters which indicated that Grace was pregnant with Graham’s (real name Chester Gillette)child, neither of which Graham wanted. Thus, he had plotted to kill her with her unborn child so he could scamper away to continue sewing his wild oats. Only, because of the letters, he was caught and convicted. Reaping a whirlwind indeed.

This plot is set as the backdrop in Donnelly’s “A Northern Light” by having Grace Brown give the letters to Mattie (the main character) to burn. Several of Brown’s letters are used throughout the novel and tie in with Mattie’s story of being the eldest girl in a large struggling family who has just lost their mother. This is one of those books where I just hate to talk about the plot or anything else in fear that I will make it seem any less than it is. It really is a fantastically told story and one I wish I had read before Christmas so I could have hand sold it more.

Plus, the girl on the cover makes me weak in the knees.